A review on Hope After Heartbreak

fr/Scottie-ann Murphy:


"I laughed and cried for Danielle.  This story tells it like it is about going through a break-up and starting over.  The author showed how Danielle not only started a new life but she began this new life in the Big Apple. I cheered and shed tears for the heroine through the ups and downs she faced during her transformation from heartbreak to hope and happiness.  The author provided a wonderful insight in the meaning of the night dreams of her main character.  For anyone going through a relationship break-up this book is a must read. It does show that after heartbreak there is hope, you just need to make it happen"

novella descriptions

Brief book notes:

Dusty Roads:  
  We think we are creating our lives with choices we make. Yet mixed with who we are at our cores, are colorful past experiences and memories that may distort our ability to choose more wisely. Why we behave the way we do can come from fear as well as happiness. Knowledge of both experiences lies within.
  In Dusty Roads, as Jane's salary shrinks to commissions only, she returns to live on the family's country homestead. In the attic, she finds her grandmother's diary; its words allow her deeper understanding of life's river of experiences, as her past hidden fears begin to ebb up for resolution. Life and her heart press her forward as she chooses to feel strength, understanding, and perhaps love.

                                                                      *

Hope After Heartbreak:
  The darkness of night gives rest to some and restless dreams to others.
                           
  Twenty-five year old Danielle flees her small hometown and moves to New York City after her heart feels broken-again. Her goal is unclear.  Will she lose herself, as her pain chooses death.  Or choose life again?
  She struggles as a small voice of hope within encourages her to think and try. She has to choose sides between the opposing senses--determination and encouragement, or pain and fear.
  Her life begins to change after a dream shows her the wolf who helps her spirit feel hope and strength to live. Other dreams reveal her pain and progress, and allow her to think through what she wants.

  Life is a choice, and the signs are all around to help. One just has to listen, feel, and explore. 

Silver Memories:
    A beautiful part of living is being present with those you love. But what happens if what you thought was love becomes realized as only companionship without depth, and there is a lack of dedication to self?  Do you stay? Or leave?  
And what happens if a relationship of known love is lost? How may one heal?
                                                                   
Forty-year-old Celia has choices to make. Her marriage to her teenage sweetheart for over twenty years feels lifeless to her. She has rolled gently within the years, but now is finding she wants more. She wonders what she has done with her life, outside her comfortable roles of wife, mother, and teacher.
She wonders whether to stay, or leave and explore her life.

Life does not give Celia clear pathways...In the midst of her changes, she experiences other events which bring sadness and tragedy to overcome. How she survives and learns to thrive again with Life's different pulls is in a journey of moments and decisions.

Hope After Heartbreak, Ch 1

Chapter 1

Pain

Within its natural rhythm, night’s darkness came and stillness joined. On this night, twenty-five year old Danielle felt both within her heart, and upon her cheeks, dried tears left a passionate trail of sorrow.

An old 1987 Camaro below her window pulled her mind temporarily away from thoughts, as its engine rumbled and occupants’ laughter spilled out. The lightness of life met Danielle’s sadness, and part of her heart felt thankful someone enjoyed being alive. The sounds faded as the vehicle left the neighborhood. She pulled her sleeves lower to cover her hands and feel more protected against the cold.

An owl sounded. Its mysterious calling made Danielle think of flying away to flee from the earlier pain.

After all our words of love spoken to each other, we still broke up.

Danielle felt another pain…a different heartache. Does anything good last?

Silence met her thought.

I can’t stay here this time.

She lay in her twin bed and planned her move. It would be a move to get lost in and heal…or not. The pain felt too deep, and she felt dry and vulnerable.

Her small New Hampshire town held secrets for no one. All would look at her with pity once more. Being orphaned years ago taught her what having love and losing it felt like. Since then, loves of different kinds had been lost, yet somehow were sensed similar. And any love loss is heartache.

Danielle turned her focus from her felt-broken self, to one large, familiar suitcase. It had held all her possessions when she was nine years old. Now twenty-five, she was determined to shed her things to fit within it again, move out of her boarding room with a note, and leave tomorrow for New York City.

I’ll be like one stone in a mountain and blend in, or maybe get crushed...does it matter?

Immediately after this thought, a tender voice of hope sounded to her weeping heart. To find and love yourself again, Danielle.

Danielle didn’t know what to do with this time when she heard a voice from within. In other years, it had carried her into the positive. However, now, she didn’t know. This time felt different. She didn’t care. Something inside her was too numb.

Dusty Roads Ch 1

Chapter 1

Bouncing

Twenty-nine-year-old Jane Moore stopped folding. As a nearby dryer turned with a regular metallic ding, she felt an ice pick memory come to her heart. The dryer clang and her heartbeat joined. She rested her hands on a warm bundle of dry clothes and remembered a different turning—one from her past. Like a motion picture, the spinning tires of the old family car took her back to age nine and the painful move to Grandmother’s.

“Is that really when it began?” She was alone and asked only herself. This was an advantage doing laundry at four in the morning. The ice pick prick became a deep ache in her chest as she remembered the fateful day.

And as she lingered in the quiet morning, the reels would continue to pull out bits of her life’s journey until the present.

 

Twenty Years Earlier

“Janie, I’ll be your ally.”

Jane Moore, nine years old, sat in her spot in the family station wagon—back seat, left side. Henry, her older brother, sat in his, in the middle, beside her. She didn’t mind that he didn’t scoot over. Well, he did this time, one butt cheek over. Her older sister, Suzi, was in a different seat—she had always sat in the back, right side, as long as Jane remembered. Now Suzi sat in the front, with their mother. Mother drove, which was not right either, especially when going to Grandmother’s.

Jane looked at Henry. With him, she felt safe. They were close, not only in age of just over two years, but as close as a brother and sister could be. However, on this day, she didn’t have as many smiles for him, and she was wondering about her safety. Not that she was in grave danger. But change was happening, and the unknown pierced her security.

Jane breathed in through her nose, and snot made it noisy. Henry turned around, reached for the tissue box under the rear windshield, and pulled out a tissue. He handed it to Jane, and she blew her nose. She noticed the tissue was warm from the sun as she watched small fuzzy pieces of it float away.

“I’ll be your ally, Janie,” Henry repeated. More was added to his thought…I’ll be the protector of my family now.

Jane looked confused. Henry had talked a lot about war and enemies in history class, and now he brought it home.

“I don’t have any enemies.”

Henry looked at the driver’s seat.

Jane paused and rubbed her fingers together. They were sticky from playing with her gum earlier. “Mom?”

“Nooo…” Henry said, drawing her out.

“Dad?”

Henry tightened his lips and nodded his head.

“Dad’s not our enemy.”

“Whatever,” Henry said, and he looked away. He looked back to Jane and softened. “Maybe not. Figure this, an ally is someone who’s on your side. I’m on your side, Janie.”

“Okay,” Jane said timidly. “I didn’t know there were sides.”

“And I thought we were a family,” Henry said. He looked out the window at the open space and fields. When he squinted, he could see only tans on land and blue in the sky.

Jane could swear she saw Henry almost cry. Henry never cried. Henry was Jane’s rock and now more than ever.

He opened a bag of peanuts and offered some to Jane. She took a small handful and put them all in her mouth. She wiped the remaining salt and red skins on her jeans and took out her water bottle from the net basket holder attached to the driver’s seat. “Want some?”

“Got my own, thanks.”

A U-Haul stuffed with their things was attached behind them on the back hitch with a chain. But these connections could be separated too, just like the family had been. Well, not completely. They were together. Dad was away.

Mom slowed the car, turned off the highway, and drove onto Country Route 22.

By habit, Jane began to smile. She loved going to Grandmother’s farm. They went every summer and on different holidays. Grandmother was like the best hot fudge, caramel, and strawberry topped sundae!

Reality pushed the smile off. They weren’t on their way to visit Grandmother. This time the journey was different. Even though Jane was with her mother and siblings, life wasn’t the same. It had turned on a dime.

Where’d I hear that the other day…life can turn on a dime. In a moment, it can break. It was Charlie at the gas station when he was filling up the gas tank. Or was he washing the windshield? Jane remembered hearing his words as she sat in the backseat, looking at his name sewn on his work shirt.

Jane’s thoughts were interrupted by her mother.

“We’ll be to Grandmother’s soon. I’ll be getting gas in town first, in about five minutes. You may want to take a toilet break and stretch your legs there.”

Suzi looked away. “There’s nothing here.” Suzi, a fifteen-year-old with budding wings, wanted concrete city sidewalks, skyscrapers, taxicabs and lots to do. The country was the last place she wanted to be in. “And I can manage my own bladder, Mom.”

Mother’s shoulders sagged.

Jane listened and watched. Her mom usually had beautiful posture. She also sang, especially on road trips, but not this one. When did I last hear Mom sing? Jane wondered.

“Jane, are you doing all right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Henry, how are you?”

“I’m doing all right, Mom. Does Grandmother know we’re coming?”

“Of course she does, honey.”

Jane relaxed when she heard a small lightness in her mother’s voice.

“I mean,” Henry continued, “does she know we’re bringing our things?”

Her mom went sad again. Jane could feel it with her eyes closed as she felt her eyelashes get wet.

“Yes, Henry. She knows we’ve sold the house and are going to live with her for maybe three months, while I find a job and a new place for us to live.”

“Does she know about Dad leaving us?”

“Yes. For the record, it was a joint decision between your father and me.” All three children heard another sigh. “We’re going to be okay. Things will be different, but I’ll figure it out.”

“Who are you trying to convince?” Suzi said.

“We’re going to be fine. We’ll adjust,” Mom said stronger, as she sat up straighter.

Henry leaned over to Jane and whispered. “Mom’s like a lioness, she’s protective of her cubs. She’ll take care of us, don’t you worry.”

“Worry? About what?” Jane was confused again. This week had been too much. With the quick sale of the house, packing, Dad moving out and regret moving in. Regret…at least that’s what she heard from her mother’s girlfriends who had come over to help pack.

Worry. Regret. Change. Sad. The repeated words sizzled in Jane’s mind. Fear lie underneath. She wasn’t able to label it, but she felt it.

Home felt different. If there wasn’t a bunch of commotion, it seemed silent—really silent. Of course her father was gone too. But like kids absent from class at school, Jane figured he would show up on another day.

It’ll never be the same, Henry had told her. The “it” was her life.

“A lioness?” Jane asked Henry.

“Yeah—the other day, when Mom’s friends were over, I heard Miriam tell Mom that when they were packing. She said to Mom, don’t worry, Grace, you’re strong, like a lioness over her cubs…you’ll know how to take care of your children alone.”

“But we’re not alone. We’ve got each other, and Mom will have Grandmother.”

“For three months,” Henry said.

“Henry, do you hear everything? Know everything?”

“I try to, Janie. That’s how I’m going to make it to be a top CIA man one day.”

“Oh.” Jane felt protected by Henry. I don’t need Dad, she thought. Then her brow pleated, and her stomach hurt.

The familiar rock of the car in the potholes along the country road didn’t have the exaggerated fun Jane and Henry used to have with it, not on this trip.

At least we’re together, Jane thought. She looked at Henry. Although only eleven and a boy, Henry was quite sensitive. He looked at his younger sister, and instead of teasingly punching her lightly in the arm, he gave her an apple.

“Janie, we’ll be okay. I promise,” he whispered.

Bounce again. The gravel country road going to Grandmother’s had a lot of bouncing.

Jane looked outside. Nothing but cornfields, silos, barns, and cows. “Oh! Goats!” Jane said to Henry.

Fields again. This time they were grain, tall and bending to the wind’s breath.

Jane saw her mom’s eyes in the rearview mirror.

“I love you, my children. We’re going to enjoy staying with my mother for a while.”

“Do we have to leave her place too? Can’t we just live with Grandmother?” Jane asked.

Her mother smiled, genuinely smiled. “Well, I’m sure that would be just fine with you, Jane. You are her namesake. But I need my own space. We all need our own space.”

Jane saw her mom look out at, what else, but a field and back to the road. “We’ll be there as long as it takes for me to get a job in the city and an apartment for us there.”

Suzi sat up quick. “We get to move to Chicago—Yes!”

“No, honey. I’m looking in Summerville. It’s only eight miles away from your grandmother’s, and it’s a wonderful little city.”

Suzi looked out the window.

Jane giggled when she saw Suzi sulk.

“What are you laughing at, Jane!” Suzi glared over the front seat and back at Jane.

“Nothing. Henry just said something to me.”

“What?” Henry turned his head. “What’d you say?”

Suzi glared at Jane. Jane looked at Henry. Henry shrugged his shoulders.

“Whatever,” he said as he turned to count barns again.

Jane put her hand over her stomachache.